In my opinion, this is possibly the most frustrating characteristic of ADHD, and I have been on both sides of the coin.
As a child, I can remember so many occasions where I would be asked by one of my parents or a teacher, “I know you’re just being lazy! You didn’t have any problems getting this done yesterday! Why can’t you just do that every day?”. And the most absolute honest answer to this question was one that would irritate them even more: “I don’t know.”. Because I, myself, didn’t know the answer, it left me vulnerable to believing their answers; I must be lazy or stupid. This is precisely why I feel it is so important to take a look at what most likely is really going on.
Remember the filter that I talk about in my first blog, “What’s in a Name?”?
This idea really comes back into the picture here. There are times when our “filters” just sporadically work pretty well, and just as randomly as this happens, they also fizzle right back out. I once heard it compared to trying to listen to a radio station while driving through the mountains. At times the station comes in good and strong, while at other times three to four other stations are trying to come through at the same time, making none of them audible. And the driver has no control over it.
As the parent of an Asperger’s child ( who has many ADHD characteristics), I also understand the frustration from the other view point. After all, the child (or person; this concept applies to children, as well as adults) has proven that they can successfully complete a certain task. And so, they’re inability to complete it today can only mean that they’re not trying hard enough, right? Well … probably not.
If you have ADHD or have a child or spouse with it, you may find yourself feeling a bit relieved. In either case, this information will probably clear up a major source of confusion, doubt, and frustration. If we understand this inconsistency to be what it is, a hallmark symptom of ADHD, and not willful behavior, we can learn to be more patient and tolerant when we recognize it.
Friday, November 27, 2009
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE! WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ADHD
If we’re talking about a sale at our favorite store, the BOGO sign is likely to bring a smile to our face, but unfortunately, it can also pertain to many disorders, such as ADHD.
ADHD loves company, and there are multiple disorders that are more than willing to tag along for the ride. I think of it as sort of kicking you while you’re down! Some of its favorite partners are: anxiety disorders (including generalized and social anxiety, and OCD,), depression, Bipolar Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders (including Asperger’s Syndrome and PDD NOS), learning disabilities, and Conduct Disorder. This is not an exclusive list, and it is common to have more than one.
This is so important for people to understand because of the tendency people have to compare themselves, or their child, to someone else that has been diagnosed with ADHD. So often we hear people say things like, “Jimmy’s teacher suggested to me that he may have ADHD, but I know that he doesn’t. My nephew has ADHD, and Jimmy is nothing like him!”, or “My brother has ADHD and is usually bouncing off of the walls! I’m nothing like that. I couldn’t have ADHD.” These comparisons can keep people from getting a proper diagnosis, which is unfortunate because the right interventions can remove so many obstacles from the ADHD’er’s life.
Certainly, there are characteristics that are hallmark of ADHD, but a free- loading disorder is likely to throw a big kink into the picture. Someone who experiences anxiety along with their ADHD will not necessarily have the same behaviors as someone who experiences Oppositional Defiance Disorder. There are countless combinations which make each person with ADHD unique.
Whether it’s you, your spouse, or your child, make sure to investigate if an accompanying disorder(s) might exist. Understanding the whole picture is key to the ADHD’er’s success!
ADHD loves company, and there are multiple disorders that are more than willing to tag along for the ride. I think of it as sort of kicking you while you’re down! Some of its favorite partners are: anxiety disorders (including generalized and social anxiety, and OCD,), depression, Bipolar Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders (including Asperger’s Syndrome and PDD NOS), learning disabilities, and Conduct Disorder. This is not an exclusive list, and it is common to have more than one.
This is so important for people to understand because of the tendency people have to compare themselves, or their child, to someone else that has been diagnosed with ADHD. So often we hear people say things like, “Jimmy’s teacher suggested to me that he may have ADHD, but I know that he doesn’t. My nephew has ADHD, and Jimmy is nothing like him!”, or “My brother has ADHD and is usually bouncing off of the walls! I’m nothing like that. I couldn’t have ADHD.” These comparisons can keep people from getting a proper diagnosis, which is unfortunate because the right interventions can remove so many obstacles from the ADHD’er’s life.
Certainly, there are characteristics that are hallmark of ADHD, but a free- loading disorder is likely to throw a big kink into the picture. Someone who experiences anxiety along with their ADHD will not necessarily have the same behaviors as someone who experiences Oppositional Defiance Disorder. There are countless combinations which make each person with ADHD unique.
Whether it’s you, your spouse, or your child, make sure to investigate if an accompanying disorder(s) might exist. Understanding the whole picture is key to the ADHD’er’s success!
ADHD: WHAT'S IN A NAME? HELPFUL INFORMATION ABOUT EVERYDAY DISORDERS.
The name Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder could not be any more contradictory to what the disorder really is. My problem is with the word, "Deficit". Here's why...
I am a 40 year old woman with ADHD. There are a lot of people who, upon learning this, would assume that I simply lack the ability to pay attention to anything; like my mind is mostly blank as I wander about this world...
I WISH! That would be so much less tiring than the reality of it. Here's what most people who do not have ADHD (and even some that do) don't understand; The deficiency, when it comes to attention and focus, is in the brain's filtration process, not the brain's ability to pay attention.
The non ADHD brain has a very reliable filtration system that allows them to concentrate on the subject of their choice, like say, cooking dinner, and filters out other irrevelent sounds, sights, smells, feelings, & even thoughts for them. So, dinner gets done without a hitch and all usually goes smoothly. The brain of someone with ADHD has a filtration system that is faulty and unreliable. This means that, while trying to focus on a subject of their choice, like say, cooking dinner, they are being bombarded with other information. The non adhd-er will have the sound of the dryer buzzer automatically filtered out for them, and they simply continue on with cooking dinner. However, for the person with adhd, the filtration process fails, and the sound of the dryer buzzing instantly becomes the top priority. At this point, getting back to cooking dinner depends upon what other distractions get through next. This is how something as seemingly simple as cooking dinner can get so muddled for those of us with adhd.
So, you see, what is termed as a deficit is actually more of a problem of overload. There are so many more misconceptions about adhd, and you can bet I'll take them on in future blogs. See you then!
I am a 40 year old woman with ADHD. There are a lot of people who, upon learning this, would assume that I simply lack the ability to pay attention to anything; like my mind is mostly blank as I wander about this world...
I WISH! That would be so much less tiring than the reality of it. Here's what most people who do not have ADHD (and even some that do) don't understand; The deficiency, when it comes to attention and focus, is in the brain's filtration process, not the brain's ability to pay attention.
The non ADHD brain has a very reliable filtration system that allows them to concentrate on the subject of their choice, like say, cooking dinner, and filters out other irrevelent sounds, sights, smells, feelings, & even thoughts for them. So, dinner gets done without a hitch and all usually goes smoothly. The brain of someone with ADHD has a filtration system that is faulty and unreliable. This means that, while trying to focus on a subject of their choice, like say, cooking dinner, they are being bombarded with other information. The non adhd-er will have the sound of the dryer buzzer automatically filtered out for them, and they simply continue on with cooking dinner. However, for the person with adhd, the filtration process fails, and the sound of the dryer buzzing instantly becomes the top priority. At this point, getting back to cooking dinner depends upon what other distractions get through next. This is how something as seemingly simple as cooking dinner can get so muddled for those of us with adhd.
So, you see, what is termed as a deficit is actually more of a problem of overload. There are so many more misconceptions about adhd, and you can bet I'll take them on in future blogs. See you then!
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